She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
