Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
