i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
