the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
