that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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