i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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