Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
