I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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