There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
