Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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