I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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