What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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