Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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