I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
