Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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