Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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