dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
