Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
