don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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