I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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