ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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