Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
