This show inspires me to have sex in space
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize