lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
