At least make sure they are 18
Why
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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