i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
