It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
