sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
