There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
