It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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