Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
