Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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