Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
