last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think people are normalizing furries
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