When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Small penises have feelings too.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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