Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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