We need to rekindle our bromance
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
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I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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