Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
