I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
thus making me awesome and them whores
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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