Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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