3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
