your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
