I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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