1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
