How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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