i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
