K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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