Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
