so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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