remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
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No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
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Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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