Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
