I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's blow job season.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize