She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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