i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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