Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize