tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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