4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
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so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
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I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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