You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
