And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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