nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
