Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
