I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
