i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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