Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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