this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
