If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
