So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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